This is my name, Sarah

This is who I am, a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin and a student

→ I am a daughter to my two loving and caring parents. They support me in a lot that I wish to fulfill in my life, and they are the biggest blessings in my life. Without them, I would not be the person I am today because both of them make up my personality and the way I learned to live my life. They sacrifice everything so that my siblings and I would live a better life, and they make sure we are always content. They are easily the most benevolent people I know in my life.

→ I am a sister to an older girl and to two younger boys. The bond between sisters cannot be broken, and the relationship I have with my sister is one I cherish very dearly. She picks me up when I am down. Makes me laugh when I want to cry and helps ground me at times when I begin to float away from what is important and what matters. My brothers, on the other hand, are the light of my life. Seeing them grow up and experience the same troubles I once faced makes me feel useful because I can be able to guide them, just like my sister had been for me. A sibling relationship is incomparable to any other.

→ I am a granddaughter to both of my grandparents. I had to say goodbye to one of my grandfathers when I was only nine years old, and I miss him immensely. I cherish and appreciate everything my grandparents do for my siblings and me to live a blissful life. They are the people I look forward to seeing on Sunday dinners and when I arrive at the airport in Lebanon. They are easily the most caring and selfless people I know, always putting their families first.

→ I am a niece to seven uncles and eight aunts, altogether. I love each of them as if they were my own parents and I know they love me as if I was their own child. They always make me laugh and smile, and are always there to back me up when I cannot stand on my own. Every time I get the chance to see them, my day instantly brightens because of the joy they bring in the room with them.

→ I am a cousin to sixty-four people from my dad’s side, and seventeen on my mom’s side. No one believes me when I give them these numbers but I am honestly just part of an enormous family and I am beyond grateful for that. Sunday dinners are absolute chaos with only the eighteen of us (including me) from my mom’s side, but I cannot imagine not having all these amazing people be my family. They are people I can trust with anything, for the most part, and I always wish the best for these lovely people.

→ I am a student to a number of amazing teachers. All my teachers have always only wanted the best for me, even though they expressed it in different ways, and I appreciate them for that. No matter the situation or whether I just need to talk to someone or I need academic help, I was immediately put as their priority. Some of my previous teachers have not and will not leave my head or my heart, and you, reading this, are definitely one of them. Teachers who have taught me before have played a part in who I am today because of the knowledge they have embedded in me throughout the years.

This is how I got here, I strived, I struggled, and I succeeded.

I strived to be the best daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin, and student.

I struggled to become the best I can be at these roles.

I succeeded, one by one, at achieving to be the best I could.

But then, I strived to be even better.

I struggle to be even better,

And I am still struggling.

Maybe one day, someday, I will be able to fulfill my goal that cannot be fulfilled.

That is who I am, Sarah.

 

This piece was inspired by a quote shown in class as one of our quick writes and it inspired me to use the theme of who I am to other people since I have always put other people before myself in every aspect of my life.

“ But I have long loved the written word, and come to see it in the power of the sleeping lion. This is my name. This is who I am. This is how I got here. In the absence of an audience, I will write down my story so that it waits like a restful beast with lungs breathing and heart beating.”

The URL of my blog is the word Khirbet Rouha (خربة روحا ), which is Arabic for a broken soul, my blog title. Believe it or not, the village in Lebanon that I am from is called that, and the more I thought of it, the more I realized how much the name of the village I am from resonates with my life. When I say broken soul, I mean it as someone who is corrupt and disoriented. That does not mean that everything in my life is out of place, but as of now, there really are only a few a thing I count on for happiness. I worry that I will always feel like my soul is slowing breaking, but I truly hope that there is someone or something that can change my mindset on this topic, but for now, this is my life and this is who I am.

image: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjbm6rewrngAhX6JzQIHZuUBjMQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Ftenor.com%2Fsearch%2Faesthetic-gifs&psig=AOvVaw0qRgtOLICdt9N-VEyNxrQI&ust=1550175184547101

 

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